hopeless to your words

countless hours without sleep. i feel as though im no longer unique just a zombie freak getting no sleep i watch the hours go by as i sit here and cry, and drown my sorrows with liquid found in these bottles, its gotten the point where im not even sure what it is im consuming im just tilting back and swallowing cause i know it takes away the pain and makes me feel slightly sain…but truth is nothings ever gonna be the same….its a funny little situation someone keeps feeding my ever, growing addiction, i have no money, and work no job and yet im here drinking real hard…life is not right, when i need food its not here, but booze are always near…backwards…cheaaaaaa….but story of my life  atleast i admit it eh?

your silence has made me realize what you truely are….a coward…a whore…an ass just like every other man ive ever met in my life. you took my pain and used it to your advantage…took my emotions and turned them against me so you could get what you wanted, you never took a second look at how you were making me feel. how crazy you left me, how confused and broken…as if i wasnt already broken you came in and made it even worse…now my mind is filled with a hatred curse, ill never look at a man the same, because you all play the same twisted fucked up games. this life you live…i will never fucking get… the one thing that bothers me the most is i thought you were like my best friend….and for once in my life….i actually regret something i did. so heres to you,  cowardly fool , a shot for the pain, a shot for the moment, a shot to forget and a shot to wishing i had never known ya…and heres 3 more shots to make my heart completely numb…because for some reason no matter how much i drink your memory has sunken in like ink to the skin….and because of that i can never win.

all i ever did was care should have known better than to think you were really there.if ever in my life i was scared this would be the moment where im scared the most. i feel so alone, ive got nothing going for me what am i to do? im so lost im trapt stuck in this shit with no way out. rescue me, give me something to fight for, give me a reason to wake up in the morning. give me strength to move on, help me find the words to this crazy fucked up song. why am i always doing something wrong? will i never learn? will i always be awaiting my turn? is this truely how my life is meant to be? forever lost in a stormy sea